Kaleena Nero (kaleenass) wrote,
Kaleena Nero
kaleenass

trading off

just like most things in my life there is a fair amount of trade or karma involved
whenever something horrible happens something good happens
and whenever something good happens something not so good happens
im finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel for the job corp thing
finally going to be going soon
but....
im not going into the program that i wanted
which im going to let go
cuz maybe it just isnt fated to happen that way
im not fated to be an artist tho i do enjoy it i need a job that will actually pay
because no one cares about ur happiness
photography doesnt drive me everyday
if it did then i would work towards it full force
but its not and it hasnt so im not going to push it
i love it
i will continue to do it
but i think
im just going to go find something i can stand and do it
and then once i get some money under my belt
ill finish school
and then i dunno....maybe open my own business
probably not lol
i dont want to fantasize about this grand life that ill never have
i have to work hard for now and take it one step at a time
because right now im failing
no matter what is around i am failing
and no matter all the potential people see in my i dont see anything for myself in my future
so fuck it
just going to put my head down and trudge ahead in whaeva path God sees fit to through in my way
im not creative enough for photography
im not going to push any boundaries
but i will continue to do it for my patience and mindset
soon i will be gone
and hopefully meet some good people
or at least meet up with myself
and find a way to make me a better person
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